to be better.

it's nice to see what's left behind.



Like, reading my "written past stories" here, memorize all the things that already happened, stupid things, romance, or maybe funny stories about my high school life, all fun-sad-happy-sorrow things that I've been through all the way.

it's fun to read it again.

that was indescribable.


maybe, this is what I want, when I actually wrote this writing.



to make it clear, just see this part :

"Apalah hal yang terjadi diatas itu, merupakan gambaran yang sudah terjadi selama tahun-tahunku di SMA, aku pengen semua hal-hal ini setidaknya sedikit tercatat di sebuah tembok internet, yang mungkin aku punya kesempatan untuk ngeliat hal2 ini sampe aku tua nanti.
percaya apa enggak, kalian akan nyesel nanti, kalo tiba2 masa2 ini lewat begitu aja.
lewat, hanya jadi sebuah ukiran di atas pasir, yang kalo ketiup angin, bakal hilank gitu aja.
jadi, sembari mengisi hobiku menulis yang ga jelas... maka terciptalah blog ga jelas ini."



now, I totally agree with those verses.
I cannot make any negation about those verse, since I've already experienced it,
the way I opened those old archives, the way I felt something when I read words by words, sentences by sentences, parts by parts.

the way I got touched by my own writing !


it's true that I leaved this blog, because there was something bad happened to me back there.
there was something so bad, so bad... even I was having a fight with my best friend.

in that time, I didn't think that I can make any good stories anymore, so I decided to leaved this blog, and when the things got better, I started the new one to begin with...




when I run the other blog, I was thinking to remove this site, like,
delete the entire post from this site.




I was thinking like that.



I was.




but, suddenly I opened again. those old archives....








and just realized, that I can't remove all of them from my life.




that's what happened to many people. they are ashamed of their past life, they wanna run and left everything behind them.
they don't want to look back, and see what they've done in their past.



but trust me, sometimes every driver needs to look behind.
they need to keep their car, safe from crushing what behind them.


the same thing goes for human.


when u want to do something, firstly, look into ur past.
is there anything u can do to improve ur life ?

did u ever do this before? was it a mistake? was it true?





it is what happened to me this night.
I just know that I have to open this blog, I know that I have to learn from my past.
I know, that this night will be the night for me,


to not repeating that part of my life,
to prevent anything from this blog to be happen again.






to be better. don't throw ur past. make it become ur teacher.
once again.




to be better from before.

hari yang mengejutkan bulu ku

Kemaren hari menyebalkan, mengejutkan, ditambah mengherankan yang secara bersamaan terjadi.

seperti biasa, kemaren adalah jadwal ku buat lanjutin pengambilan gambar film Algonz.

tapi paginya, aku baru inget, kalo kemaren itu tanggal 7 Agustus.
jadi aku nyalain komputer, buka Facebook, trus cari temenku buat diajak chat.

"kwang Ang"

nah, pas tuh. mengingat kwang jg salah satu rekanku buat ntar sekolah di australi.

Aku : kwang, hasil ielts keluar hari ini ?

Kwang : iye ris, jam berapa bisa ambil ya ?

Aku : G tau ni, deg deg an gilakk !

Kwang : aku telpon ialf deh, khe tunggu kabarku.

Aku : oke...

menunggu....

Aku : ....

Kwang : Ris, Jam 12 kita uda bisa ambil hasil Ielts...

DOOONGGG.....



perlu diingat, diketahui, dan disadari,
aku butuh nilai overall band score = 5.5 buat bisa kuliah di tempatku ntar di australi.


jam 1, aku berangkat ke ialf dari sekolah.
sampe di ialf,

aku uda liat rico lemes di kursi depan ialf.

(rico juga bakal ke australi, dan dia juga butuh nilai 5.5)


aku : Ric, uda ngambil ?

Rico : uda, *muka lemes*

Aku : oke dah, sekarang giliranku.


aku ambil ke front office nya ialf.
liat amplop coklat mematikan.

trus kubuka,
sambil komat kamit minta berkat sama Tuhan...

"taraa... 5.5, and I passed the test !!"

Aku : YEAHHHH !!!!!

aku langsung loncat loncat kayak anak monyet. ngobrol bentar sama rico.
terus cabut ke kantor papaku....

ampe kantor, seperti biasa. aku pamer besar sama papaku...

dan seisi kantor, liat aku loncat2 kayak anak kelinci.

nah, singkat kata, sorenya aku syuting di klinik "pelayanan kasih" di Jalan Letda Made Putra,
susah banget nyari tempatnya, aku ampe muter 4x, demi cari klinik itu.


urusan syuting disitu beres, kru film cabut ke centro buat cari pantainya.
ceritanya ada adegan pacaran disana...

nah, pas perjalanan ke centro.

di mobil aku ditelpon sama seseorang.


DAN DIA DENGAN SUKSES MENJATUHKAN PERASAANKU SAAT ITU.


jadinya pas syuting di pantai, aku lebih sering bengong, ga konsen, tapi tetep berusaha profesional.

intinya gini,

ada seorang cewe, yang aku suka, aku uda mulai bisa serius ngejer dia, uda mulai berasa beda,

tapi, di telpon itu, dia cerita tentang sesuatu yang nyakitin banget.

oke, aku cowok, cowok itu ga bisa nangis, ga bisa jatuh terlalu lama sama urusan urusan macem gini.

tapi cowok pun punya hak buat sakit hati kan ?!




~Aris Lazuardi~